Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Pretty ain't so Pretty!
I often wonder why girls and young women go through life focusing so much on exterior beauty ignoring their inner beauty. They look in the mirror thinking, “I wish I was prettier.”
I have never been a girl with stunning beauty nor have I been a plain Jane. I have just been pretty. In fact every challenge I have come against, people have said, “Well at least you are pretty” as though pretty got me privilege. I realized that focusing primarily on surface level is pointless. It is deceitful, creates false expectations and upsets priorities.
There is a dark side to pretty.
As a little girl, pretty got me preference but preference isn’t so precious when you are preferred by predators. Gazing at you, hovering around you like a vulture waiting to seize the perfect opportunity to devour you. Pretty made me prey.
As a pre-teen pretty came along with harassment and threats. If I spoke to a boy, girls would threaten me and call me all sorts of vulgarities even though they were unmerited. Pretty took my pure intentions of friendship and turned them into paranoia. Pretty made me prisoner.
When I gave up the only thing I ever had that made me feel of great value to a boy that told me he loved me and called me pretty, as soon as I told him I was pregnant, he found someone prettier. Pretty didn’t keep him around. The priceless gift that I gave was pitched in the trash never to be seen again. Pretty wasn’t so priceless.
As an adult, if I got a promotion, people assumed it was because I was pretty; not because I gave 110%, not because if they asked for eight hours, I gave ten; not because I worked with good cheer and an attitude of gratitude. No, it was because I was pretty. Pretty got me prejudice.
As a single mom looking for a complete family, a husband to call my own and a father figure for my children; pretty attracted those who wanted a taste of pretty. To get what they wanted but as soon as they seen that pretty came with a package of three kids, Pretty was too much pressure.
Pretty has made me too plain for the polished and too polished for the plain. I never feel welcomed by either, no matter how hard I tried to blend in, I felt like a pretender.
So before you prefer pretty, remember that pretty brings a whole lot of problems!
“Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” Proverbs 31:30
“Let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious.” 1 Peter 3-4
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