Do you recognize truth when you hear it?
This process is called Revelation.
Revelation - the speech act of making something evident; the first step in knowing truth.
If you are anything like me, you have had the experience and/or been witness to women having to take the leadership role in families. Most of the time they don’t really have a choice.
It started with our generation. Today’s generation, My generation. The scary part is that we are raising tomorrows generation.
Many of us were raised by single mothers. Fathers are becoming absent from the home more and more. The girls learn to take the leadership role and the boys learn to depend on the woman. To make things worse, they attend daycare centers and schools where the women dominate the workforce. So now as adults, we carry it into our relationships and families. I am a single mother myself. Did it make me stronger as a person, yes. Did I grow into the woman I am because of it? Absolutely. But as for my children, I would have chosen a better path for them. "How I wish I knew then, the things I know now."
FACT: According to Families and Living Arrangements: 2006, there were 12.9 million one-parent families in 2006 — 10.4 million single-mother families and 2.5 million single-father families.
So the question is, “Can single parent households be successful in raising and developing children to become productive adults?”
Yes, Absolutely.
The problem? It is out of spiritual order.
They say that there are 2 types of people. There are leaders and there are followers.
What about the third? A team-player.
There comes a time to follow and a time to lead. But when you work as a team, don’t you find that you are more productive, get more accomplished, you are more developed and well rounded? Being on a team, you learn the importance of communication, trust, conflict resolution and sharing the burdens as well as the rewards of your labor.
As good as a mother that you may be, no matter how good you are, no matter how many football games you attend, no matter how much base you put in your voice, you will never be a man.
As good as a father that you can be, no matter how many ballets recitals, and cheerleading practices you go to, you will never be a woman.
But if you have man and a woman working together nurturing, building and growing, you pass that on and it teaches the value of balance and working as a team. Children learn healthy boundaries and set expectations. They learn how to relate and have an intellectual connection with the opposite sex.
The ways of the world and main-stream media divides us by brain-washing us to thinking we only relate on a surface level. Surface attraction, without the balance of both male/female role models just leads us to experience many unfortunate broken relationships/marriages/families. It's almost like we are pitted against one another to become enemies when we were created to be allies/partners.
"The LORD God formed the man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being.” Genesis 2:7
The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."
But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.
The man said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman, for she was taken out of man." For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” Genesis 2: 18-24
When God created heaven and earth, the sky and the sea, the birds and the fish, why did He go through all that trouble? For man, for woman, for family. Family was the reason we were created. So why are there so many broken families?
He created Adam from the dust on the earth. He took the woman out of Adams rib. Not to walk ahead of him or behind him; to walk beside him. We were made for each other, to compliment one another, not to compete...but to be a team.
Ladies, we say we want a real man but then try to take the lead when it comes to relationships. You know, we say we are independent, we can do anything a man can do, we don’t need a man, and when a good one comes along that actually treats us with respect and chivalry, well he's too nice. So in essence, we are pushing the men out of their spiritual order. We then waste our time with men who disrespect us, but they disrespect us because we disrespect ourselves, so then we find ourselves in this cycle.
That’s when you refer to truth – The word of God
"A virtuous woman, who can find? For she is worth far more than rubies." Proverbs 31:10
Rubies are considered priceless and precious gems. They are highly desired and they are sought after. Men in history have spent their entire lives digging for gems hoping to find one. There are many pebbles on the ground, but rubies are hard to find and a man is considered blessed when he finds one. Scripture of the Proverbs 31 woman exists to teach women how to become a gem and sets a standard for men on how to recognize one. In fact, Proverbs says she is worth far more than rubies. It means you are of great value and would be an asset to the one who found you. You are to be sought after, pursued and desired because of your virtues. You should not chase a man or have to convince him that you are of great value, it will be apparent in how you carry yourself. Proverbs clearly states that we are to work on polishing ourselves from the inside out and will shine so bright, we will set ourselves apart from all others and be found by a man that is looking for a gem. Priceless; hard to find.
“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord,” Ephesians 5:22
Submit - To yield or surrender (oneself) to the will or authority of another.
Why are women so afraid of this word? It is a divine word. Submission is a word that sets a whole new meaning to trust. When you submit, it means you have set your fears aside and learned to fully trust someone. Trust them with your heart and with your future. So, how do you do that? Choose him by his character. Not by his car, house, job or appearance. Not by what he says, but by what he does. Don't give all of your time to a man until he proves himself to be worthy of being trusted as a good steward with a gem. It will be easy to trust a man of good and solid character. Trusting him makes it easy to submit to him. Allow him to take his spiritual place. Don't undermine his man hood, allow and encourage him to be who God intended him to be. A man of God knows his spiritual order and it will be evident in how he carries himself, treats you and treats others so it will be easy to submit to him.
Men, you focus so much of your time trying to over-compensate for your manhood looking to conquer and dominate instead of leading. You seem to gravitate toward temptation, lust, greed, wealth and power like a fool being seduced by the glimmering of fool’s gold. It may look real, but it’s not authentic. Underneath the sparkling surface lays cold and dark coal. You say you want to lead but then make decisions that followers make. You allow women to take your place as the husband, the father, the provider and then you wonder why you become frustrated and end up in the same cycle.
That’s when you refer to Truth - The word of God
"But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he is worse than an unbeliever." 1 Timothy 5:8
Ouch!
Men are to be the providers, leaders and priests of their homes. We need our generation of men to step it up, really engulf themselves in the word of God to find out exactly what your role is and then spread that Word and minister to other young men. By becoming a follower of Christ, you learn to take the lead in relationships, family and community. Without that, you are just blind leading the blind.
Lead - To show the way to by going in advance; To guide or direct in a course
Lead does not mean to dominate or take by force. Submission isn’t gained through intimidation or arrogance. It means that your actions display your leadership, not your words.
"Men love your wives as Christ loves the church and gave himself up for her." Ephesians 5:25
Gave himself, meaning he surrendered his life for her, giving her all of him. A man that fully submits to God will have no problem finding a good woman to submit to him. If you do not surrender or place God first, a virtuous woman will have trouble trusting you. If you want to attract and keep a woman of noble character, you must be a man of noble character. It's not about your past, it's about the man that your past has molded you to become.
"Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; and anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it." Matthew 10:37-39
I believe this set the standard on how you should prioritize your life. If you put God first, everything will fall in its natural order. If not, things will more than likely fall apart or become unmanageable. Sadly, I have witnessed too many marriages and families fall apart because of this, including my own family.
Putting God first means that you will consult Him in all things which will make you a better spouse, parent, relative, co-worker, and friend. When things fall apart, wouldn't you rather go through a hardship with someone who is strong in their faith and secure with their identity in Christ? That will get you and them through the roughest and most trying of times. If someone will not put God first, what makes you think that they will treat you any different?
Both genders are equally to blame. We spend so much time at the gym, hair salon, nail salon, clothing stores all to work on our physical appearance. We go to doctors to get prescriptions for this and that for our health, go to psychologists for our mental health but neglect our spiritual health.
As I reflect on today’s society, it appears to me that it just doesn’t seem as innocent as it was when I was a child. And I’m sure the generation before thought the same thing. So what does that mean then? I believe it means that with each passing generation, as my friend John would say, “a snowball is now becoming an avalanche.”
There is nothing wrong with being attractive, hygienic and healthy, but when that become the primary focus on our development, that’s when it falls out of place. We must focus on our spirit and inner beauty and it will shine from the inside out. God is our primary source. Without Him, we are merely trying to over-compensate in all other areas. After our beauty, health and mind is gone, what are we left with?
To stop a generational cycle, we must recognize the truth, spread the word and take a stand! I wonder, is our generation up for the task?
"For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who suppress the truth in unrighteousness, because that which is known about God is evident within them; for God made it evident to them." Romans 1:18-19
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